Previous English leader Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet face the full consequences of the muscle-wasting condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was involved in the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast two weeks after finding out he has the disease.
"There's a certain facing the future and not wanting to fully comprehend that at the present time," he stated.
"It's not that I don't understand where it's progressing. We grasp that. But there is definitely a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, talking with his wife Annie, states instead he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his current welfare, his family and planning ahead for when the disease deteriorates.
"Maybe that's surprise or possibly I handle situations uniquely, and after I have the information, it's easier," he stated further.
First Symptoms
Moody learned he had MND after detecting some reduced power in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After physiotherapy didn't help the condition, a number of scans showed nerve cells in his neurological system had been damaged by MND.
"You're given this diagnosis of MND and we're understandably extremely affected about it, but it's quite odd because I sense that nothing's wrong," he continued.
"I don't feel sick. I don't experience sick
"My symptoms are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle deterioration in the fingers and the shoulder.
"I continue to be able to accomplishing anything and everything. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is feasible."
Illness Progression
MND can develop rapidly.
According to the non-profit MND Association, the disease takes the lives of a third of people within a 365 days and more than half within 24 months of diagnosis, as eating and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only retard worsening.
"It isn't ever me that I experience sorrow for," stated an moved Moody.
"It's the sorrow around having to inform my mum - as an single child - and the ramifications that has for her."
Personal Consequences
Conversing from the residence with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by sentiment when he mentioned telling his sons - teenage Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the devastating news, saying: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two brilliant boys and that was quite upsetting," Moody stated.
"We were seated on the settee in crying, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog bounded over and started licking the tears off our faces, which was quite silly."
Moody explained the emphasis was staying in the present.
"We have no cure and that is why you have to be extremely militantly focused on just welcoming and enjoying all aspects now," he said.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been truly lucky that the sole determination I made when I retired from playing was to devote as much duration with the kids as attainable. We won't recover those years back."
Athlete Association
Professional competitors are disproportionately impacted by MND, with studies indicating the incidence of the condition is up to 600% elevated than in the general population.
It is believed that by limiting the O2 accessible and causing harm to neural pathways, regular, intense physical activity can trigger the illness in those inherently vulnerable.
Rugby Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England selections and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in acknowledgment of his brave, unwavering approach to the game.
He participated through a bone injury of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once caused a training-ground altercation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he left a practice gear and commenced participating in collisions.
After appearing as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the end of the throw-in in the decisive moment of play, creating a foundation for half-back Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the match-winning field goal.
Backing Network
Moody has earlier notified Johnson, who skippered England to that victory, and a couple of other former colleagues about his condition, but the others will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"There will be a period when we'll need to rely on their support but, at the moment, just having that sort of love and recognition that people are available is the crucial thing," he said.
"Rugby is such a excellent family.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even if it ended now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"Being able to consider your passion your vocation, it's one of the most significant honors.
"To have done it for so considerable a duration with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I am aware they will desire to help in any way they can and I anticipate having those conversations."
